I know it’s been a real long time since I’ve posted. I’ve been thinking a lot lately on what it means to love another person and wondering how to describe or even understand how someone could love us when we know all the crap we’ve done and could very well do again.
I had a similar conversation recently with a close friend of mine. He’s in a relationship, I’m currently single, and our conversations either start with or get around to the topic of me and dating (or the lack thereof). Some time ago, at his suggestion, I created an account on a dating website – the same one he used to meet his girlfriend. Our recent conversation involved my lack of dates (or even messaging on the site), and I asked him how he could be so positive and supportive for me when I had difficulty feeling the same way about myself. He didn’t really have an answer. Instead, he reminded me to keep positive and that it will happen for me just as it did for him, even though it might take a long time.
I’m usually that way about myself and others. I don’t have any problems being positive and optimistic when it comes to supporting my friends, but when it comes to feeling the same way and believing in myself the same way, I fall woefully short. I don’t understand how it is I’m able to be that way for others but not myself, or vice versa (people being positive, etc, for me).
There’s a song by The Choir called “To Cover You” that describes what it is I’m trying to understand; what I’m trying to get a better sense of. Have a listen, and maybe you’ll have a better idea of what I’m getting at.